I Dub Thee

Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy's official name is Fred. With apologies to the Real Fred. It's just such a good name. You may address any mail to Fred Fish. Not that I expect him to get any mail. I hardly ever get any mail, so Fred definitely shouldn't be.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Another of the Boss Lady’s shortcomings is her inability to choose creative pet names. She didn’t even name me, the boyfriend guy did. As you might have guessed Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy needs a new name. Something better, something more appropriate, something with a little bit of character. Something aside from his species spoken with a funny accent. Boss Lady is thinking about naming him Fish in another language. Or maybe F3, for Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy. Kind of like R2D2. She doesn’t know what the F3 button on the computer is for, though. Me, I don’t care what the fish is named, just as long as I get my breakfast first. I am the dog after all, and dogs outrank fish.

Boss Lady is now accepting nominations for Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy’s new name. So far the nominations are: Fang (Boss Lady’s Mother) and Squid or Spot (Boss Lady’s Father.)

Demoted

This morning Boss Lady did a little better; she dragged out of bed at 9:00am. (May I suggest that retiring earlier than 1:00am might facilitate the getting out of bed before 9:00am?) This time when I raced upstairs I caught her nearly fully dressed, a full step sooner than yesterday. I excitedly escorted her to the stairs in anticipation of Breakfast (this morning I was not in dire need of piddling.) When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I raced ahead to the kitchen so as to already be in my appropriate Breakfasting space when she arrived moments later. Except she didn’t arrive moments later. Nor even a few moments after that. I was forced to retrace my steps until I found her, still at the bottom of the stairs. She was feeding the goldfish. I asked her what the meaning of this delay was, and she said she needed to feed the fish (in her words “Feeshy, Feeshy, Feeshy”). Excuse me? Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy’s breakfast is more important than mine? The just adopted a few days ago, won’t ever do any tricks, doesn’t even like to be petted Feeshy Feeshy Feeshy is more important than the loyal, ever obedient dog? I’ve been demoted. I’m playing second fiddle. I’m less important than a fish. Oh, the embarrassment of it all.