You Are Such A Girl

I enjoyed a bonus Wednesday hike today, despite the icky weather. After witnessing all the ice in Pittsford during yesterday's hike, Boss Lady decided to take me there. She really wanted to get me out on the slippery ice and throw snow balls. She wanted to make me slip and slide so she could take funny pictures. Luckily for me, the ice wasn't nearly as slick with the new snow cover. I did slide a little bit, but only to make her feel better. She was determined to get funny pictures of me playing on the ice, though, so she staged a couple. I didn't believe her, but it turns out I could fit underneath the ice.


I could also sit on top. And jump. And bounce. That's some strong ice.




We were experiencing a "wintry mix" according to the weather channel. In plain English, that translates to a mixed bag of shit. We had snow, sleet, and freezing rain. Miraculously, Boss Lady managed to drag out of bed early enough that the roads were still fairly clear and the trail was still in good shape. While we were hiking, the precipitation switched over to freezing rain, leaving us pretty well soaked, but who really cares. The rain didn't bother the mice running around under the snow, so why should it bother me?



About half way through our hike, Boss Lady looked down and discovered big gobs of blood in my foot prints.


She called me back to her and tried to figure out which foot was creating the bloody mess. It was my right front foot. It was really bloody, and she was initially worried that I had cut a pad. Turns out I just broke a nail, though. I snapped it pretty short and hit the quick, hence all the blood. Boss Lady cringed and shook her head. It didn't bother me, though. I didn't make a peep when it happened, which is probably why Boss Lady didn't notice at first. And it didn't slow me down one bit. It did continue bleeding for the rest of the hike, which was about a another mile. And for the 20 minute ride home. And it was still bleeding just a little when we went into the house. It still wasn't bothering me, but Boss Lady really didn't want blood spots all over the rugs. She dumped some corn meal onto a plate and proceeded to prepare my foot for frying. Mmmm. I'd never eaten corn meal before; it's kinda yummy.

I Think You've Got Your Story Confused

Boss Lady didn't have to work on Tuesday, and I desperately needed an adventure. She promised me a lengthy adventure. And then she reneged. She says it was because of the rain. Had it been snowing, we would have gone hiking. But with rain, we couldn't. She seems to think 40* is too cold for hiking in the rain. She told me we could both catch pneumonia and die. I suppose I agree with her, but I still would have liked an adventure.

So today, which was only about 40*, when she decided to get me soaking wet with a bath, I was a little bit confused. What happened to the "it's too cold for the dog to get wet" business? You won't let me play in the water. You don't take me adventuring in the rain. But, you throw me in the tub and force me to endure a bath? What are you going to do when I catch pneumonia? Huh? You're going to feel soooo guilty. I could even die. Yeah, how about that. You gave me a bath in this cold, cold weather, and now I'm going to catch pneumonia and die. That'll teach you to give me a bath when I don't want one.

And another thing, I may have missed that whole puppy kindergarten thing, but don't think I don't know what a "bad touch" is. And that, missy, is a bad touch. Bad, bad, touch. No. No no no no no. Soap does not belong there! Stop scrubbing. Definitely no scrubbing! I am going to glare daggers at your back until you release me from this controlled drowning. No amount of popcorn and cheerful "good boy"'s will appease me.

When the whole thing was finally over, and she'd released me to rub my face all over the kitchen cabinets, I asked her what possessed her to give me a bath today. I haven't had a bath since early summer. She replied that it's the holiday season, and lots of company will be coming to visit, and I was getting rather stinky. She thought it an ideal moment.

Wait a minute. It's a holiday? What holiday? Is there food involved? And all these people who are going to be visiting....will they be sharing any of this food? What are the chances that a handsome, well-behaved dog will get some good treats? Pretty good, I'd say.

As you can see, Loyal Readers, there are positives and negatives to the holiday season. The positives involve greater amounts of fabulous food. The positives also include a steady stream of visitors. Large amounts of food+lots of people=yummy food for the dog. The negatives, however, include baths and the possibility of being banished to one room in the house.

All I've got to say is the food better be damn good to warrant a bath and banishment.

RCHS Update

This morning Boss Lady managed to make her way to RCHS early enough that she was able to take a hike before the weather started. Blazer was the dog of the day today. He's a big, beefy black lab mix. He was desperately in need of some exercise, so Boss Lady went outside to collect him from the outdoor exercise pen. As she was headed towards the pen, one of the fellows who works at RCHS offered to leash up Blazer for her. Well, Boss Lady isn't some wimpy toothpick, she's perfectly capable of leashing up a dog. Even a large, excitable, ill mannered black lab. Besides the fact that if she couldn't handle leashing him up, she probably shouldn't be walking him at all. Boss Lady thanked the fellow, but told him she didn't need any help. She also told him she planned to use a harness anyway, and she was perfectly capable of wrestling him into a harness. The fellow laughed and wished her, "Good luck with that."


He doesn't look so bad, now does he?


Boss Lady grabbed the harness and leash out of the car and marched up to Blazer's pen. She looked at him: big, beefy lab. She looked at the harness: a medium sized harness, currently sized just about as small as it could be. She took a couple moments to resize, all the while thinking that it just figures the one time she doesn't bring my larger harness is the day she needs it. Then she stepped inside the pen and greeted Blazer. He jumped on her, of course. And he wasn't particularly interested in being harnessed up. She managed to get it over his head, and to get his one leg through it. But, when she tried to clip it she realized she was going to have to expand it as much as possible. She managed to pull it off Blazer, and fix it, and put it back on him. Then she leashed him up (which really wasn't any trouble at all compared to the harnessing) and led him to the car.

Blazer turned out to be a pretty good boy. He jumped on her a lot, mostly immediately after he had run through mud. He pulled, but he also stopped and looked at her quite a bit. He sniffed a lot, and very much wanted to play in the water. He discovered that iced over mud puddles provide a certain kind of fun, as long as one doesn't go psycho puppy and try to spin in circles whilst in the middle of the frozen mud puddle. At one point he decided he was tired and, without warning, flopped down on his side in the middle of a particularly torn up and muddy section of the trail.

Aside from the drizzling rain that started about half way through, it was a nice hike with a happy companion.

Wuss in Boots

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate going out in the rain? Or walking in the yard during/after the rain? Just in cast I haven’t mentioned it, I really hate doing those things. Really. Hate. It. Boss Lady has to drag me out into the wet grass just to piddle. And don’t think about asking me to poo in that situation. I have no problem running through a field of grass taller than I covered in morning dew. I have no problem piddling (multiple times) or pooing (multiple times) in that situation. Of course, that situation also involves an adventure and me being off leash. Piddling or pooing in wet grass in the yard at home on a leash during a non-adventure? Ain’t gonna happen. You can stop complaining, and whining, and coaxing, and trying to convince me that the rain actually is fun. Furthermore, I can assure you that getting me stupid little doggy booties to protect my feet won’t change anything. Except that you will have spent however much money on a new chew toy that I will destroy in mere minutes.