You Want Me To What?

What does she want?! I have no idea. She gets out the clicker, and we run through the usuals. Down, crawl, circle, turn around, musica (that's my new one! I can play the piano!) Then, she puts this thing on the floor, and it rings like the thing on the wall, but it sounds a little different. You know, the thing that rings, and then a human picks it up and talks to it. I don't know why they talk to it. If they wanted someone to talk to, I'm right there.

Anyway, so she puts this thing on the floor. It's making a strange noise, and it's on the floor, so I go investigate. Click! Oh, boy, I did something she liked. I go claim my treat, and go back to investigate. Another click!! I'm liking this. I get my treat, and back I go to the ringing thing. Only, now it has stopped ringing, and really it's not very interesting, so I turn around when I'm only part way to the ringing thing and I go back to her. No clicks. Wait a minute...where's my click? I look at her, and she's staring at the ringing-but-not-right-now-ringing thing. She's watching it like it's going to attack or something. So, I go rushing over to check this out. We can't have anything attacking her. Click!!! What the heck is going on? I cannot figure out these clicks. She's still watching it, so I better go back over and investigate more closely. Click! Hmmm...... This seems to be working, whenever I get near it, Click! Alright, I don't know why she wants me to, but I'll do it. Except, now I'm practically standing on it and she's not clicking! I swatted it with my foot, I tried to bite it, but she's not clicking. Then, suddenly, randomly, she clicks!

Ok, I don't know who put her in charge of the clicker, but I am going to take responsibility for firing her. This totally random clicking is not helping me at all. Click! now, what was that for!?! Apparently she doesn't like the biting or the foot swatting and she does like the nose. Well, I've got lots of nose, and I don't mind using it. HEY! CAN YOU SEE ME? I'M NOSING ALL OVER THIS THING! Click! finally, thank you. I'm starting to get this, she wants me to only nose on the pick-upable part. Ok, I can do that. Click! Well, that was easy. But, really, couldn't you have just told me that from the beginning? Instead of all this foolishness with the foot swatting and biting. Really, was it that difficult to say: Colyn, I want you to smush your slobbery nose all over the pick-upable part of the ringing thing?