19 October 2008

I Do Not Approve Of This

Yesterday was a wonderful day, weather wise. Bright, sunny, temps in the upper 40’s. Boss Lady even had the whole day off. We thought and thought about what to do for fun and decided there was no better way to enjoy the afternoon than by playing outside. Crunching through frosty, brightly coloured leaves. Reveling in the last bit of autumn glory still clinging to the trees. Celebrating the fact that we could run and play while wearing a sweatshirt and barely break a sweat. Yes, indeed, autumn is the best time of year.

And, while I have admit I did enjoy the afternoon, it might have been even better had we actually left the front yard. Because, you see, I was tied to the Boss Lady’s Mother’s flowering crab tree and Boss Lady was busy raking leaves. There were a lot of leaves in our front yard. We’ve got a sickly Maple tree, the afore mentioned Flowering Crab, and a couple Box Alders. They’re all naked at this point. While Boss Lady was busy raking, I was busy nosing about and enjoying the fresh air.

Enjoying it I was, up until Boss Lady lost me. There she was, just finishing up the last pile of leaves, when she realized she wasn’t sure where I was.

Colyn? Colyn, where are you?

Wait a minute, does that pile of leaves have ears?

Colyn! There you are, you Silly Boy.

If you think for one minute that I voluntarily climbed into that pile of leaves, then you’re smoking crack.

When Boss Lady was finished subjecting me to goofiness, she decided she’d better transport all those leaves down to the garden. Knowing from prior experience that the easiest way to accomplish such a task was piling everything onto a big tarp and dragging it, she set about finding the tarp in the cellar. Fortunately, it was surprisingly easy; our cellar is not exactly known for being well organized.

Whilst she was busy hunting up a tarp, I was busy getting bored. And Ted was busy being annoying. Downright obnoxious, really. I found it necessary to let him know exactly what I thought about his behavior.

At some point in the tarp finding process, Boss Lady thought it might be fun to put me to work. You know, make me earn my keep and all that. I’m a big strong dog, she thinks to herself, so why not have me help her pull the leaves down to the garden. I’ve got a harness, even if it isn’t a true pulling harness. And I’ve got plenty of energy. She’s pretty sure we’ve got a rope that will work. And, indeed, it turns out we have all those things. So, with no warning or consultation, I quickly found myself hitched up rather like an Ox.

That was the end of the easy part, though. I took one step hitched up to that mess and promptly decided I wasn’t interested in any of this pulling business.

A whole lot of popcorn and coaxing later, She’d convinced me all the way down to the garden. Boss Lady then dumped the leaves next to the compost pile, and *let* me drag the empty tarp back up to the front yard. We did this twice more and all I have to say about it is I think I should’ve gotten more popcorn. Really, who ever heard of a dog pulling a tarp full of leaves. I’m pretty sure this was not in my job description.

At least she rewarded me by playing tug.

And, as if it was necessary to further prove that these humans are a little crazy, they have allowed an asexual bum to take up residence on the front porch. I’ve been instructed not only to not bark at it, but to actually be friendly with it.


Stargirl said...

Dog abuse!! Right there in public and everything!

I'm going to alert the ASPCA. Or somebody. Sheesh. What will she think of next??


michele said...

I can only reiterate my comment from your last entry "HOW DO WE PUT UP WITH THEM?"