Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

I have to air my appreciation for Boss Lady’s corporate employer. Normally, as a show of loyalty to Boss Lady, I am very much against said employer. But, Thursday evening the floors where Boss Lady works were thoroughly stripped, cleaned, waxed, and buffed. When Boss Lady arrived at work Friday morning, she was immediately struck ill by the chemical stench leftover from the cleaning. She made an honest effort to stick it out, but the stench did not dissipate and her illness only became worse. After a few hours, Boss Lady gave up and came home early. Much to my excitement, it only took about an hour of fresh air and rest to clear Boss Lady’s illness. And we were left with an entire beautiful, sunny, warm afternoon to play! Woohoo!

Due to the heat, Boss Lady vetoed any hiking or biking. She did, however, agree that swimming was an acceptable activity for the heat. Even moreso because school is back in session and there was little worry our swimming hole would be already claimed by any rotten little kids. Off we went with my harness and rope and a fun toy.

So, let me talk about this fun toy. It’s called a Jolly Ball. It must be named for the entertainment of the handler rather than the dog, because this thing is far from jolly. It’s a big, thick rubber ball on a big fat rope. If floats, although it does take on water after awhile. It is also unpoppable, because it isn’t inflated. It’s kinda fun as just a tug toy, but once it’s in the water, it is horrible. Why? Because it is impossible to grab. Boss Lady tossed it out into the middle of the swimming hole and after it I went. When I reached it, I tried to grab the ball in my mouth. It bobbed under the water, avoided my teeth, and popped back up a few inches away. I tried again, with more force. The ball bobbed under the water, avoided my teeth, and popped up about a foot away. I swam in circles repeatedly jabbing the ball with my nose only to have it bob under and away. Finally, I managed to accidentally catch the rope and was able to fetch the blasted toy. After all that work, I was smart enough to not return the toy to Boss Lady, knowing as I did that she would only toss it out there again for another round. Unfortunately, she managed to catch me and snag Jolly Ball away, only to do just as I feared. I swam out after it, and went through the jabbing and bobbing routine until I finally captured the toy. We went through this routine several times until I made it a point to drop Jolly Ball in the strongest part of the current in the hopes that it would be swept away. No such luck, Boss Lady is quicker in the water than she looks. Fortunately, she took the hint and put away the Jolly Ball.

With the Jolly Ball retired, we proceeded to more traditional swimming hole activities, namely rock skipping and plain old swimming. Then I decided I really wanted to venture up stream and investigate things. Boss Lady actually agreed. The river is much shallower than she thought, so we waded a little way up. Then I found a giant tree branch along the edge of the stream. I tried to grab onto it, but it was too big for my mouth. I dug, and scratched and chewed at it until I finally managed to break off a narrower section of branch. Then I carried it back down the stream, skirted the edge of the swimming hole, and dragged it over to Boss Lady’s previously dry clothes.

Then Boss Lady declared us sufficiently cooled and exercised and we went home. I’m kinda hoping Boss Lady’s employer decides to clean the floors again soon. Maybe if I go over and spread some dirt and mud it’ll happen sooner.