16 August 2008

Because It's Against the Law

The Boss Lady, she isn’t so great at the whole Rise and Shine game. She’s more like drag and grumble. So there it was 9:30am and I hadn’t had breakfast and I needed to piddle. Half the day was gone and we hadn’t even discussed my adventure.

When I finally heard her feet hit the floor (and with feet that big, you always hear them hit the floor) I raced upstairs. I caught her in the bathroom and explained to her my plan for the day: Piddle, Breakfast, Adventure. She responded that it sounded fine. But, instead of coming downstairs, she went back to her room. I paced and circled until she finally emerged again.

This time I didn’t let her escape. As soon as we got near the door, I paced circles around her. You know how these humans are. They get distracted by everything: clothes, shoes, leashes. She started to put her foot in her shoe, but I stepped in it first. Which prompted her to give me a science lecture! There’s this scientific law (she can’t remember the name) stating only one object can occupy a space at a time. Thus, she can’t put her foot in her shoe while my foot is there.

I replied that the only thing her shoes is good for is a place for me to piddle unless she opens the door RIGHT. NOW. But, she says, I can’t go outside without shoes. Sure you can, I see you do it all the time. Yes, but the grass is wet now. (Do you hear that?The dog is expected to happily traipse around in wet grass, but she won’t.)

Finally, she opened the door let me out, and I headed for the (wet) grass. Except something smelled really interesting over near the driveway. Hmmmm....it goes around the porch and down near Boss Lady’s Father’s truck. I was deep in sniff mode when I heard, “Colyn! Go piddle already.” What? Piddle? No, I don’t really need to piddle. I need to sniff. “Colyn.” Ok. Ok. Fine. I’ll piddle. Sheesh. Guess somebody rolled off the wrong side of the bed this morning.

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