31 August 2008

Bubble Farts

Boss Lady decided to come home for her lunch today. She felt bad that I was to be abandoned here at home all alone all day. Normally there’s somebody around for at least a little while. Somebody to take me out for my mid-afternoon piddle. Somebody to keep me company. Somebody at whom I can throw Mr. Green or Bagel. Today there was nobody. Nobody at all. This left the Boss Lady worried for me.

So, round about 2:30, Boss Lady rolled in. (Because that’s the kind of Boss Lady she is. See? That’s a positive characteristic. I just pointed out a positive characteristic.) Now, keep in mind that when she left this morning, she very carefully made sure there was nothing in the sink or on the counter that I might want to steal. She put the cat food can in the recycle bin. She put the other dishes in the dishwasher. She put the bread back in the drawer and the peanut butter back in the cupboard (major bummer there). So, when she stepped in the house at 2:30, she did not expect to find any sort of dog created messes. And of course, the first thing she saw, sitting on the floor directly in front of the door, was a mostly empty bottle of dish soap. Fortunately, upon further examination, the bottle was mostly empty to begin with. It doesn’t appear that I actually ate any of the dish soap. I didn’t even manage to spill it all over the floor. That didn’t matter, though. Boss Lady looked at me and said, “That’s it! Your new nickname is Bubble Farts.”

“That’s Mr. Bubble Farts to you.” I remonstrated her.

So, Mr. Bubble Farts it is despite the fact that I do not, in fact, fart bubbles after I have consumed soap. Nor do I even fart pretty smelling gas. Indeed, I may fart particularly stinky gas after eating soap. At least, I’ve been eating rather a lot of soap lately, and farting rather a lot of very stinky farts.

As an aside, Boss Lady came home with more than a new nickname for me, she also brought a funny story. I may not have mentioned that Rutland has recently been blessed with a brand new (and from what I hear the first one in Vermont in ages and ages) Taco Hell. It’s right next to where she works. Boss Lady finds this unimpressive, but many in the area are thrilled if we are to judge by the always long line at the drive through. Apparently, though, Taco Hell is beloved by more than just people; dogs enjoy it, too. At least, one dog does. Boss Lady knows this because as she was driving out of Michael’s to come home for lunch, she saw a car at the drive through ordering speaker thingy and a dog was hanging out the back window as if he was speaking directly into the speaker. It’s too bad Boss Lady didn’t have her camera, because it was quite the picture.

No comments: